Letter from her Britannic Majesty Queen Elisabeth II to MAAF Assurances
Windsor Castle
29th June 2006
Re: My subject Francesca Tereshkova
Dear MAAF Assurances,
Amid the tumult of one's 80th birthday festivities, I must confess that finding time for missives such as these is rather far down ones list of priorities.
However, ones corgis are taking a nap after dinner, and my subject assures me that this is a matter of the utmost importance.
She gives me to understand that MAAF Assurances has expressed alarm at the prospect of allowing her to return to these, her own, Britannic shores without the necessary (your words and not ones own) documentation.
Furthermore, she informs me that until such a piece of paper proving that she is shortly to leave France and return to England is produced, she will be bounden to continue paying 25 euros per month for a health insurance policy that she should not have been talked into buying in the first place (her words and not ones own).
You may take it from the highest authority in the realm that such a piece of paper does not exist, particularly as my subject does not have an address in England, as she is still in France, nor any UK utility bill, as she is still in France, nor a UK employer, as she is still in France. Should you require further clarification, you may look up Windsor Castle in the international yellow pages and ask to speak to a lady-in-waiting.
One is amused that such a situation has come about, France being the country of Descartes and therefore, as one is frequently assured by Frenchmen, of logic.
As a member of the older generation, I can certainly sympathise with those who find it hard to move with the times. I must add that as an unelected monarch I feel exceptionally close to France, the French and all that your society stands for.
On a lighter note, France is a proud country, and one appreciates the French belief in cherishing certain 16th century traditions.
So, in the words of Louis XIV, I beg you to believe in, MAAF Assurances, the assurances of my sincerest salutations.
Queen Elizabeth II
PS Please note that in anticipation I judge it prudent to copy this letter to EDF, France Telecom, Free Telecom, Bouygues Telecom, Aviva Assurances, BRED, AXA Banque, and the French tax authorities.
(That should do the trick. Ed)
29th June 2006
Re: My subject Francesca Tereshkova
Dear MAAF Assurances,
Amid the tumult of one's 80th birthday festivities, I must confess that finding time for missives such as these is rather far down ones list of priorities.
However, ones corgis are taking a nap after dinner, and my subject assures me that this is a matter of the utmost importance.
She gives me to understand that MAAF Assurances has expressed alarm at the prospect of allowing her to return to these, her own, Britannic shores without the necessary (your words and not ones own) documentation.
Furthermore, she informs me that until such a piece of paper proving that she is shortly to leave France and return to England is produced, she will be bounden to continue paying 25 euros per month for a health insurance policy that she should not have been talked into buying in the first place (her words and not ones own).
You may take it from the highest authority in the realm that such a piece of paper does not exist, particularly as my subject does not have an address in England, as she is still in France, nor any UK utility bill, as she is still in France, nor a UK employer, as she is still in France. Should you require further clarification, you may look up Windsor Castle in the international yellow pages and ask to speak to a lady-in-waiting.
One is amused that such a situation has come about, France being the country of Descartes and therefore, as one is frequently assured by Frenchmen, of logic.
As a member of the older generation, I can certainly sympathise with those who find it hard to move with the times. I must add that as an unelected monarch I feel exceptionally close to France, the French and all that your society stands for.
On a lighter note, France is a proud country, and one appreciates the French belief in cherishing certain 16th century traditions.
So, in the words of Louis XIV, I beg you to believe in, MAAF Assurances, the assurances of my sincerest salutations.
Queen Elizabeth II
PS Please note that in anticipation I judge it prudent to copy this letter to EDF, France Telecom, Free Telecom, Bouygues Telecom, Aviva Assurances, BRED, AXA Banque, and the French tax authorities.
(That should do the trick. Ed)
posted by francesca tereshkova | 1:39 PM
1 Comments:
hysterical!! Gotta love the completely illogical french bureaucracy ... I wish you the best of luck with this one!
Your blog is so funny.
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