The truth - plain and simple

Today was my four year-old's birthday party and before the guests arrived I sat him on my knee and gave him an etiquette primer. These little speeches provide no protection from the embarrassments he has been doling out ever since he learned to speak (early). But going through the motions means I can tell myself, hey, I tried, but nothing doing.

'Ilya, when your friends come they might bring a present with them (the use of 'might' might just prevent him from charging up and frisking them. Then again, it might not). When people give you a present what do you say?' My son puts on a spookily adolescent sulky look when required to say thank you. It is not shyness, just an attention seeking ruse.

But this time he replies obediently: 'Caca boudin thank you.' I choose to ignore this, and move swiftly to the next item on the agenda.

'Paul is coming! Won't that be nice?' 'I don't like Paul. He's rude. He tells me rude things, like you're a baby.'
Hmmm. This is true. Paul is a very bright five year old with a mercurial temperament. He doesn't mince his words.

'And Adrian!' 'I don't like Adrian. He never wants to play.' True. Adrian is a whiny child who spent most of his last visit bawling.

'And Josephine! You like Josephine.' 'Do-fine likes pink. But I hate pink.' Oh no. Could this be the end of a wonderful platonic friendship?

I wish I could tell him this party stuff gets easier as you get older.

But most of all I want to hug him because nothing is purer than the truth that comes out of the mouth of a four year old.