Saying hello the British way
Now that Francesca is back home in Blighty, she thinks it's time the British people got together in a huddle and worked out some simple rules on how they are going to greet each other from now on. I was at a barbecue (indoors, behind rain-streaked panes, burgers under the grill) yesterday, and had forgotten what an unholy mess this was. It has got even worse over the last couple of years with the invention of hugging for men, only a decade after the invention of hugging for women. Whose idea was this? For a nation most at ease with its arms crossed, this is tantamount to torture. All I had to worry about in France was which cheek to swoop for first (go left, get in there first, the other person will follow).
Handshaking in Britain is too formal for all social situations and has class connotations. The Brits cannot cheek kiss or air kiss without looking pretentious (apart from when they are in France, when it becomes a mark of integration and therefore OK). The hug is way too cheesy - it must have arrived on these shores via an American sitcom. The option favoured by most people is to say 'HELL-O!' really enthusiastically, and give a big happy grin. I found being on the receiving end of one of these a terrifying experience for the first few days - until my French side subsided (yes, it's OK to smile, go on, Francesca, you can do it! Even to someone you don't know!). But I find that you have to be in the right mood to give one of these, otherwise you risk an unpleasant rictus effect, a la Posh Spice.
It's hardly surprising that some people have given up entirely and just pretend to be doing up their shoelace instead.
At the barbecue, kissing being out of the question, I shook people's hands, but realised I should have gone for the hello rictus instead. They were Northerners, and probably thought I was an effete Southern tosser. Fortunately my 4-year-old son, who had followed me into the room, decided to greet everyone the Russian way, as hubski's friends greet him, with a manly shake. 'Pweased to meet you.' he shouted, as he stuck out his arm. 'My name's Ilya. I'm living in England all day long.' That's ma boy.
But seriously, we have to sort this one out, or I'm going to have to buy a pair of shoes with laces.
Handshaking in Britain is too formal for all social situations and has class connotations. The Brits cannot cheek kiss or air kiss without looking pretentious (apart from when they are in France, when it becomes a mark of integration and therefore OK). The hug is way too cheesy - it must have arrived on these shores via an American sitcom. The option favoured by most people is to say 'HELL-O!' really enthusiastically, and give a big happy grin. I found being on the receiving end of one of these a terrifying experience for the first few days - until my French side subsided (yes, it's OK to smile, go on, Francesca, you can do it! Even to someone you don't know!). But I find that you have to be in the right mood to give one of these, otherwise you risk an unpleasant rictus effect, a la Posh Spice.
It's hardly surprising that some people have given up entirely and just pretend to be doing up their shoelace instead.
At the barbecue, kissing being out of the question, I shook people's hands, but realised I should have gone for the hello rictus instead. They were Northerners, and probably thought I was an effete Southern tosser. Fortunately my 4-year-old son, who had followed me into the room, decided to greet everyone the Russian way, as hubski's friends greet him, with a manly shake. 'Pweased to meet you.' he shouted, as he stuck out his arm. 'My name's Ilya. I'm living in England all day long.' That's ma boy.
But seriously, we have to sort this one out, or I'm going to have to buy a pair of shoes with laces.
posted by francesca tereshkova | 3:06 PM
6 Comments:
Gosh, I still prefer shaking hands, enabling me to keep that oh so satisfactory DISTANCE!!!
That or a hello with a nod, without the rictus smile.
Unless he's a terribly handsome blokey in which case he gets la bises and an "oops, can't get out of that French kissing habit..." hehe
You may need to train your entourage though, you know, have meetings on the best way to greet each other, then send out emails to all the other pals with the democratically arrived at decision, all protests to be received within 48hrs for review. :)
I was at a German workmate's post- wedding party a few months ago when I was expected to kiss the husband.
Looking back, the sight of me being chased around the room by a large German sayng "Oh come on I won't bite" in front of a crowd of laughing Poles was probably more embarrassing than if I'd just pecked him on the cheek but then again, that is a room which will be forever England.
Yep, I posted about this too: link
Just discovered your blog - as someone who has lived in France, I get where you're coming from. Good stuff
Though I practice it myself - being French and all - I could never part with the idea that this kiss-on-the-cheeks (2? 4? we need a standard here as well) is the perfect example of French artificiality: we act as if we're familiar with each other, instead of actually being familiar with each other - if you get my drift (judging by your blogged experience of my country, yes, this is merelly a rhetorical question).
Good on you for leaving that miserable sinking ship. I've been meaning to do it myself, but couldn't find the right joint yet. Good luck to you back in merry old England...
Ah but the kiss on cheeks goes ok with ladies...I remember that, far far away from the Ile de France, men used to raise the arm and bellow a salute from the other side of the road...Ok that was in a rural area. It is probably superseded by the informal nod and "bonjour" by now...
Handshaking is not preferred in Britain, especially in one's home or club. A simple how do you do? is best.
Handshaking should be confined to meeting business acquaintances.
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