In which I finally get to use my TEFL qualification ...
Hubski has a cavalier approach to English. He works with broad, impressionistic brush strokes. The main thing is, HE knows what he wants to say. If other people can't work it out, tough. Example: 'I was not coming to England before because I was not wanting Tony Blair to feel himself in the shadow'. But now hubski's abilities to convince someone to employ him (rather than entertaining the locals at our local), have come under an unforgiving spotlight. So he's enrolled on an intensive English course at the local college.
It's a single sheet of A4, entitled 'Grammar Check'. My last attempt to teach hubski English grammar stalled. His parting shot? 'I would like to be creative with your f**king language.' Hubski has an advanced grasp of swearing and slang - the result of learning English 'on the job' while working as a hotel bell boy.
The task is to identify mistakes in various sentences, and correct them. All in all he's not done too badly. The last sentence, however, contains a classic hubski clanger. He's crossed out 'Why are those men laughing?' and written 'Why those men are laughing?'
I decide to intervene. 'If the sentence uses the verb 'to be', it always comes after the question word, so you have, 'Why are you laughing?' With other verbs, you use 'do' as an auxiliary, and then the infinitive, like in 'Why do they think it's funny?'. See?'
There's a looong silence. Hubski seems to be digesting my pearls of wisdom, and committing them to memory. Possibly, he's thinking how lucky he is to be married to such a polymath - someone whose professional experience has spanned English teaching, lifeguarding, paper delivering, bar maiding, chip frying, tourist guiding, translating, and bell ringing.
I feel I should break the silence. 'I'm a good teacher, aren't I?' I joke (for it is a joke).
'Yes' he replies. 'You do.'
He has a remarkably British sense of humour. I hope the interviewer sees it that way.
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