MAAF blinks first

Today will go down in history as a triumph for the good guys on the right side of the Channel. For ever more, I will give myself a day off work every February 23rd to mark MAAF Victory Day. Today, the evil overlords of French insurance were forced into a humiliating climbdown in the face of the British stiff upper lip. I can almost hear the strains of 'Land of Hope and Glory'.

Everyone who lives in France has got one or several administrative bogeymen. I have come to the conclusion that if French society has is a great leveller, or great unifier (and that's debatable) - then this is it. MAAF were far from my only French bogeyman, but they were the last. Now there are no more. I feel strangely bereft.

Rewind to last August, and MAAF's refusal to believe that I was leaving France, and therefore to cancel our overpriced family health insurance policy (I've found the NHS to be better value) prompted a stand off, with both sides refusing to back down. I wrote them a furious letter. What I actually wrote, after several final demands for a mounting bill of several hundred euros, and threats to repossess my non-existent French 'biens', was less interesting. But in case any reader finds themselves in a similar situation one day, here it is (and there's no need to correct my French, thank you, I am aware):

'En application des dispositions de l'article L. 113-16 du Code des Assurances, je vous informe que je souhaite résilier mon contrat d'assurance MAAF santé Biorythme.
Ceci est en raison de mon deménagement en Angleterre, qui a eu lieu en aout 2006. Je vous avez déjà addressé une lettre AR (daté 14 aout 2006) en demandant une résiliation de contrat.
C’etait donc avec étonnement que j’ai reçu une reclamation de paiement (voir pièce joint).
Ce veut dire que vous avez ignoré ma précedent demande de resiliation, et le fait que je n’utilise plus de mon contrat MAAF santé (il n’a pas de demande de remboursement depuis juillet 2006). En une lettre daté 18 aout 2006, vous m’avez reclamé un ‘justificatif’. En aout 2006, je ne pouvais pas vous fournir d’un ‘photocopie d’un document justifiant de votre départ à l’etranger’ , parce qu’un tel document n’existait pas. Ce qui est tout a fait logique – j’etais encore en France, et je partais pour chercher un emploi et j’avais pas d’adresse fixe en Angleterre.
Je vous joins un justificatif qui date d’octobre 2006. C’est une demande de numéro de securité sociale en Angleterre.
Je vous demande de résilier mon contrat a l’effet de ma precedent demande, et d’arreter de me harceler. Je vous informe que je n’ai aucun intention de payer les sommes reclamés, car je considère votre refus de resilier mon contract en aout 2006 abusif.
Veuillez agréer, Madame, Monsieur, l'expression de mes salutations distinguées.'

And so today, another letter from MAAF plopped limply onto the mat. I tore it open with gladiatorial zeal. I had no fear. What could they do to me? Happy is he who has no 'biens' to impound or liquidate, and no dosh left in his French bank account.

And I found, a Certificat de Radiation, stating quite simply that it was all over between us. It was an anticlimax. No mention was made of our sparring, there was no trace of bitterness. But I stilll punched the air, and whooped.

What am I going to do without my French bogeymen? Crédit Lyonnais, the Mairie de Levallois, the satellite installation people and guichet gorgons too numerous to mention, I see you fading away into the mists of time.

Mes amis, without you, there is something lacking.